i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
