in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
