You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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