...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
