Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
