Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
