3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
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