my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize