Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
