Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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