I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have feelings that need drinking.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
