I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
