Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
