id be glad to
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
