dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
