and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
this will be a night to untag.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
