There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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