i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
