I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
