my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oh god it's open bar.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
