She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
