scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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