I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
