guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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