help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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