I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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