I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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