Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
