At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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