The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
