I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize