You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize