Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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