I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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