birth control should be required to get into college
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
