and i looked up. we had an audience...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
