I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
