i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
