Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
