did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
