That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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