I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
