She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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