I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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