I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
