Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
