I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
