I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
