Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
