I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
