the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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