I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
