Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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