i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
