thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
