he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
