I think I am morally bankrupt
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
should my penis look like a turkey
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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