I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
