You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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