I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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