i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
