If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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