Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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