But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize